First and foremost, this post exists because any problem can be solved by listing the answers in numbered form and posting them online. If you number, they will read.
1. Because bad parenting is the new good parenting.
Seriously, everything you read these days on the topic also references wine, tantrums, missed appointments, pre-packaged meals, and Pintrest rage. Slacker moms are the new Soccer moms. Admitting your faults and making humorous yet tender references to them via the internet is the new black, so why not give yourself some extra material?
2. Because moms have that thing where we can sleep with one ear open.
As long as you can sort of hear your kids whining, fighting, crying, and sometimes laughing, they are alive. (It's kinda like the "if they are coughing, they aren't really choking" rule.)
3. Because its important to teach our little darlings independence.
We don't want them to be 8 or 9 years old and still not know how to make a casserole or pay bills online. The sooner we start to let go and let them have some freedom, the sooner they will be able to go to the grocery store FOR you and not WITH you.
4. Because it teaches kids the importance of sleep.
Kids want to do everything WE do, right? So while you can be sure they won't pick up your drinking, smoking, cursing, and all around poor life choices, surely they will develop a respect for the long-term health benefits of long nights (and afternoons) of restful sleep.
5. Because football.
(I don't know what that means really, but football is an excuse for anything you may or may not be doing or not doing on a Sunday, apparently).
6. Because whatever they destroy while you're hiding out, they are probably mostly old enough to clean it up themselves.
Dog food. It was worth it.
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